21 Common Excuses Cheaters Use to Justify Their Actions

It can be quite revealing to watch your partner squirm under a cheating allegation. There are a million and one excuses in the cheater’s playbook. Let’s break down some of the most common ones to uncover their true meanings and empower you to confront the situation with confidence.

It’s Just a Fling

Cheaters often downplay their infidelity by labeling it as a meaningless fling. This phrase minimizes the emotional impact on their partner and justifies their actions as inconsequential. However, infidelity typically has deep emotional repercussions regardless of how it’s labeled.

Everyone Does It

By claiming that infidelity is common, cheaters attempt to normalize their behavior. This justification suggests that cheating is a societal norm rather than a personal failure. Yet, this reasoning fails to acknowledge the betrayal of trust within their specific relationship.

We Were on a Break

Citing a temporary break in the relationship, cheaters use this as an excuse for their actions. They argue that being technically single at the time absolves them of guilt. However, this rationale ignores the underlying issues and the need for clear communication during breaks.

I Was Drunk

Blaming alcohol, cheaters claim that their judgment was impaired, and they acted out of character. While intoxication can lower inhibitions, it does not excuse the decision to cheat. This excuse shifts responsibility away from their actions onto external factors.

You Don’t Pay Attention to Me

Cheaters often accuse their partners of neglect, using this as a reason for seeking attention elsewhere. This shifts the blame onto the partner, suggesting that their lack of attention drove them to infidelity. Cheating is never a justified response.

It Didn’t Mean Anything

Diminishing the significance of their affair, cheaters argue that it was devoid of emotional attachment. This statement is meant to reassure the partner that the primary relationship remains intact. Simply put, infidelity breaks trust and respect in the relationship.

You’ve Changed

Cheaters may claim that their partner has changed over time, making the relationship less fulfilling. This excuse suggests that their partner’s evolution is responsible for their unfaithfulness.

I Didn’t Think You’d Find Out

Some cheaters admit their behavior was driven by the belief that their partner would never discover the affair. This rationale reveals a fundamental disrespect for their partner and the relationship. The focus is on avoiding consequences rather than maintaining integrity.

I Was Feeling Insecure

Cheaters sometimes cite personal insecurities as the reason for seeking validation through infidelity. They argue that the affair boosted their self-esteem temporarily. Addressing self-esteem issues through cheating is harmful and counterproductive.

It Just Happened

Portraying the affair as a spontaneous event, cheaters suggest it was beyond their control. This excuse attempts to absolve them of premeditation and responsibility. However, infidelity involves a series of deliberate choices leading up to the act.

You Deserve Better

Ironically, some cheaters claim they cheated because they believe their partner deserves someone better. This statement is a manipulative way to deflect guilt and end the relationship on their terms. It ignores the partner’s right to decide what they deserve.

We’re Not Married

If the couple is not legally married, cheaters might argue that their commitment is less binding. This excuse undermines the seriousness of the relationship and the trust it is built on. Legal status isn’t the only measure of commitment.

It Was Just Physical

Cheaters might distinguish between emotional and physical infidelity, suggesting the latter is less serious. They argue that a lack of emotional involvement makes the affair insignificant. However, physical cheating still constitutes a breach of trust and can be equally damaging.

I Was Lonely

Cheating cheaters may use feeling lonely within the relationship as justification for seeking companionship elsewhere. This lame excuse suggests that their loneliness was an inevitable cause of their actions.

I Needed a Distraction

Cheaters sometimes claim they need a distraction from stress or personal problems. This rationale attempts to legitimize the affair as a coping mechanism. Yet, turning to infidelity for distraction only adds complexity and hurt to existing issues.

We’re Growing Apart

Asserting that the relationship was already deteriorating, cheaters use this as a reason for their behavior. This excuse implies that the affair was a symptom, not the cause, of the relationship’s decline.

I Didn’t Want to Hurt You

Ironically, cheaters may claim they kept the affair secret to avoid causing pain, framing the secrecy as an act of kindness. However, betrayal and deceit are, by definition, harmful. Ultimately, such rationalizations fail to acknowledge the deep emotional damage inflicted.

You’re Always Busy

Accusing their partner of being too preoccupied, cheaters argue that they felt neglected. This excuse suggests that their partner’s busy schedule justified seeking attention elsewhere. It disregards the importance of constructively discussing and resolving feelings of neglect.

It Was a One-Time Thing

Cheaters might downplay the affair by emphasizing that it happened only once. This excuse seeks to minimize the gravity of the infidelity. However, even a single instance of cheating can profoundly damage trust in the relationship.

You Cheated First

In cases where both partners have been unfaithful, cheaters might justify their actions as retaliation. This tit-for-tat reasoning perpetuates a cycle of hurt and betrayal. Two wrongs do not make a right, and mutual fidelity must be restored for healing.

I Thought We Had an Open Relationship

Claiming a misunderstanding about the nature of the relationship, cheaters may argue they believed it was open. This excuse shifts the blame onto a supposed lack of communication about boundaries. Clear and explicit agreements about relationship boundaries are paramount.