Relationship Texting Etiquette Do’s and Don’ts, According to Millennials

Navigate the delicate early stages of a relationship with our texting do’s and don’ts, like the importance of being positive and uplifting in your messages. You’ll find yourself chuckling at the relatable blunders and nodding along with the insightful advice as we explain the cardinal rules of relationship texting.

Be Positive and Uplifting

Keeping texts light and cheerful can set a positive tone for your budding relationship. Share small joys and funny moments from your day, and ask about theirs. Avoid heavy topics or venting frustrations early on. Remember, a text message should feel like a bright spot in their day, not a burden.

Show Genuine Interest

Ask open-ended questions about their interests, hobbies, and day-to-day life, which shows that you are genuinely interested in getting to know them, rather than just filling up space. Tailor your questions based on what you know about them, and always listen actively to their responses. “It’s refreshing when someone remembers small details I mentioned earlier,” says an online commenter.

Use Humor Wisely

A well-timed joke or playful banter can be delightful in texts. However, be mindful of their sense of humor and avoid jokes that might be misinterpreted or offensive. Humor is subjective, so pay attention to how they respond and adjust accordingly. A shared laugh can be a bonding experience.

Respect Their Time

Understand that they might not always be available to text. If they don’t reply immediately, give them space and don’t bombard them with messages. Respect for each other’s time and commitments is crucial in the early stages of a relationship. Patience is critical to building a healthy dynamic.

Share Your Day, But Not Every Detail

It’s nice to share parts of your day but avoid overwhelming them with minute-by-minute updates. Balance sharing with brevity to keep conversations flowing and engaging. It’s about quality, not quantity, of communication. This approach keeps them interested in hearing more.

Compliment Sincerely

Everyone appreciates a genuine compliment. It could be about their personality, achievements, or something they shared with you. Avoid overdoing it; a well-placed compliment can make their day. “A simple compliment made me smile for hours,” mentions an online commenter.

Embrace Emojis and GIFs

These can add fun and emotion to your texts, making your messages more engaging. Use them to express feelings or reactions, but don’t rely solely on them to convey important messages. Balance is key; too many can be overwhelming, while none may seem too formal.

Avoid Excessive Texting

Flooding their inbox can be overwhelming and might come off as needy. Keep your texts balanced and give them space to respond. Quality over quantity is a good rule of thumb in early-stage texting. Let the conversation flow naturally without forcing it.

Don’t Play Games

Waiting intentionally long to respond or playing hard to get can create unnecessary tension. Be genuine and timely in your responses. Communication should be straightforward and not a strategy game. “Playing texting games just made things complicated,” an online commenter reflects.

Steer Clear of Too Much Sarcasm

Sarcasm can easily be misinterpreted in texts. What’s funny in person may not translate well in written form. Be cautious with sarcastic remarks until you’re more familiar with each other’s texting styles and humor. Clear communication is key in the early stages.

Don’t Discuss Sensitive Topics

Texting isn’t the best medium for heavy or sensitive conversations. Save discussions about past relationships, personal struggles, or conflicts for in-person conversations. Misunderstandings are common in texts, especially with complex topics. It’s important to establish a foundation of trust first.

Resist Overanalyzing Their Texts

Trying to decipher every word and punctuation can lead to unnecessary stress. Not every message has a hidden meaning. If you’re unsure about something, it’s better to ask for clarification than to assume. Keep things simple and straightforward.

Avoid Long-Winded Texts

Lengthy paragraphs can be daunting and hard to respond to. Keep your messages concise and to the point. If a topic requires a longer discussion, suggest talking on the phone or in person. This respects their time and attention span.

Don’t Use Texting as a Crutch

Relying too much on texting can hinder the development of your relationship. Make sure to balance texting with face-to-face interactions and phone calls. Real connections are built through a mix of communication methods. “Too much texting and not enough real conversation was a deal-breaker for me,” shares an online commenter.

Avoid Unnecessary Negativity

Constant complaining or negativity can be a turn-off. While it’s important to be authentic, try to keep the overall tone of your conversations positive, especially in the early stages. Focus on building a joyful and uplifting connection.

Respect Their Privacy

Don’t probe into overly personal topics or press for information they’re not comfortable sharing. Building trust takes time, and respecting boundaries is crucial. Show that you’re a safe and respectful person to share with, which encourages openness in the long run.

Don’t Expect Immediate Responses

Everyone has different schedules and commitments. If they don’t reply right away, it’s not necessarily a sign of disinterest. Patience and understanding are important virtues in the beginning of a relationship. Remember, a healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and understanding.

Avoid Misusing Emojis

While emojis can add personality to your texts, misusing them or using them excessively can be off-putting. Use emojis that accurately convey your emotions, but don’t rely on them to express complex feelings or thoughts. Finding the right balance is key to effective communication.

Stay Clear of Drunk Texting

Sending messages under the influence can lead to regrettable or embarrassing conversations. It’s best to wait until you’re sober to text, ensuring that you’re fully in control of what you’re saying. As one commenter puts it, “Drunk texts were a red flag for me; it showed a lack of self-control.”

Don’t Bring Up Past Relationships Prematurely

Discussing past relationships too early can create unnecessary comparisons and discomfort. Focus on getting to know each other and building your unique connection. Let the past stay in the past until you’re both ready to discuss it.

Avoid Being Overly Formal

While it’s important to be respectful, being too formal can create a barrier. Strive for a relaxed and natural tone that reflects your personality. Texting should feel like a conversation, not a formal correspondence.

Don’t Overuse Inside Jokes

While inside jokes can be fun, using them excessively can make the other person feel left out or confused. Be inclusive in your humor and ensure that your jokes are understandable and enjoyable for both of you.

Avoid Making Plans Too Far in Advance

Making plans too far in the future can put undue pressure on the relationship. Keep plans casual and near-term, allowing the relationship to grow organically. This approach helps keep expectations realistic and manageable.

Resist the Urge to Ghost

If you’re losing interest, communicate openly rather than disappear without explanation. Ghosting can be hurtful and disrespectful. A simple, honest message is always better than leaving someone in the dark.

Don’t Criticize or Correct

Avoid pointing out their spelling or grammatical errors, and refrain from unsolicited advice or criticism. Focus on building a positive connection, not nitpicking. As one online commenter notes, “Criticism, especially early on, just feels like judgment.”

Steer Clear of Overly Intimate Topics

Discussing intimate topics too early can be uncomfortable or seen as inappropriate. Build a foundation of trust and respect before delving into deeply personal subjects. Let intimacy develop naturally over time.

Avoid Being Too Vague or Ambiguous

Being unclear in your texts can lead to misunderstandings. Strive for clarity in your communication to avoid confusion. Clear and direct communication fosters a healthier and more straightforward relationship.

Don’t Rely Solely on Text for Apologies

If you need to apologize, do it in person or over the phone. Texts can sometimes lack the sincerity and depth required for a genuine apology. Face-to-face apologies demonstrate accountability and respect.